Pie vs Yaoi
by Nia Loves Yaoi
Summary: So Prussia says some really shit to Hungary while he's drunk and it turns into a little war. nothing serious just a couple years of yaoi slavery if Prussia loses. Has Yaoi, Yuri, and just plain smut. so have fun with this. R&R UUUUUUUUUUUSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSAA AAAAAAAAAAAAA
1. Chapter 1

**Yeah a new story! I haven't been updating lately and I just realized that I only have like 3 stories up. That's really sad I should really step up my game. Anyway the reason it's called Prussian Pie's is because I thought of all my usernames like Prussian Cherry Pie and Prussian Peach Pie. So yeah it's going to be about Prussia and his awesome adventures involving the police and lot's and lot's of pie in later chapters. And there will be occasional smexytimes. Yes that sounds legit. And sorry about that whole not updating on the truth or dare and hit the club I swear I will soon. Enjoy this…. I really don't know what this is. P.S I'm gonna be doing some real Dora type shit. You'll see.**

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Prussia woke up with the worst hangover conceived. He sat up and was about to step down when he felt a draft. "Mien Gott. It's freakin' cold in here." He looked down to see he wasn't wearing any clothing. _What the hell?_

**Time for some Dora type stuff. So kids what do you think happened? Do you think he had an awesome hetalia orgy like we all want to happen or did he just get drunk strip his clothes and fall asleep. (really short silence) Unfortunately he really did get drunk and strip. Good try kids.**

He walked to the door seeing people and clothing strewn all over the place. He walked down the steps not acknowledging the fact that he was naked. "Omg dude put on some freaking clothes." America said taped to the ceiling. "It's my house I can so do what ever the fuck I vant." He said doing the Helicopter just to spite him. "Dude, when I get down there I am going to kick your ass so hard that Germany with probably feel it." The Prussian ignored him and paraded around his house naked like a badass mofo. He reached the kitchen and found Germany also on the ceiling. _What ze hell happened last night?_ "Bruder you better not have any pie on you. If you do I will kill you and throw in ze back yard." Prussia was too absorbed in his own thoughts that he didn't even realize that his brother had woken. "What happened with pie last night and why is everyone taped to the ceiling?" Germany just looked at him with that face that he wears when he is really disappointed. He just hung there without a care and sighed. "Go outside and see for yourself.

Prussia went out to the back yard and saw pie everywhere. "Help me." whispered somebody in the grass. Prussia ran over and saw a very pie covered Austria. His glasses were cracked and his clothes ripped to shreds. Was he Ok? Then he thought about the house. _Mien Gott vati is going to kill me. _Prussia was about to go back into the house when a rock hit him in the back off the head. "Didn't you hear me say I needed help? Your such a jerk I don't know why I even fucked you." He turned around and saw the man with his back straight, clothes, and glasses fixed. "Well if you throw rocks then I do-. What do you mean you fucked me?" he said. Austria just sighed and looked at him in the eyes. "Do you really vant to know vat happened last night?" Prussia nodded furiously and sat down. "Ok so you and Hungary were hanging out at my place and you said that you wanted to have the most awesome party ever" Ok so they were off to a good start but then Austria started stuttering and blushing. "Tell me what happened or I will be forced to break out the pie." Austria's eyes went wide and opened his mouth to talk. Before he could talk he was shot with something that looked like a tranquilizer dart. "Holy maple, how did she get here so fast?" Canada said. Wow that guy was really quiet. "IIIIIIIIIIIIIII!"

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**Dora time. Ok kids what who do you think made that battle cry? Do you think it was the Yaoi fangirl Hungary or a very hungry Seychelles? Hungary Hungary! You are correct. It is Hungary and she is dressed in combat uniform. Let us continue with the story.**

"You won't escape my grasp this time Prussia!" she said jumping out of a jet. "Oh my god is that woman crazy?" Canada just nodded, grabbed Prussia, and ran back inside of the house. "Canada what is going on out zer?" He didn't answer nor did he even look back. They ran upstairs and Canada grabbed two suitcases. "Put everything you need in these two bags. You have to do it fast or else you and everyone else in this house will be badly hurt." He said rather loud. Prussia did as he was told and also put on some clothes. Canada ran out the front door and jumped in car and waited for Prussia. Hungary landed in the neighbors' backyard and hopped the fence. "Prussia come out come out where ever you are." His eyes nearly popped out of his skull as he tried to run out his door. He heard the sound of her footsteps on the stairs and panicked. He had the fire escape outside of his window. He grabbed his bags and climbed down. Canada was in the car with the door open. He threw the bags in the back and jumped in. Canada stepped on the gas and they raced down the rode.

"Can you please tell me vat the fuck is going on?" Prussia asked as Canada sped down the rode. "Well Austria told you the beginning. You and Hungary got in a big fight now you guys are having a little war. But it's not really that big. We are kind of out numbered and she has all the stealthy people." So his little birdie was on his side. That's was about the best thing he's heard all day.

It was about 3 hours since Hungary invaded his house. They were going stop at America's for a little bit he was the only one who had that had their door open at all times. They parked and ran inside the house. "We can only stay here for about a day because she will find us and then we have to go to my house." Canada said putting his stuff on the couch. "Birdie, can you please tell me what we were fighting about?" Canada Laid back and sighed like everyone did when they tried to tell the story. "You were drunk and you said that she was pretty so she got really happy. Then, you said you were just kidding and she declared a war along with a little bet. She said that if she wins the war then you have to be her yaoi slave for a couple years. I mean photo shoots and everything."

There was a faint knock on the door. Now what person would be so stupid as to come out at a time like this? He jogged over and Canada screamed. The door was already open and he faced his worst fear ever. It was the cloth sack. Ever since the incident with France and the sack he never looked at them the same. He took a little look behind sack and at the face behind it. It was one of her little henchman. Oh she was one of the smallest. She looked so cute but that's what drew you in. She smiled and laughed. "Ms. Hungary said you would faint but I guess she was wrong about something for once." She took out her gun and pointed it at his face. "Hey." She looked behind him and saw nothing. She looked behind her with a confused face. "Canada, what are you-." She was cut off by a chop to the neck. She just fell and Canada slung her over his shoulder.

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"Hey Birdie what was she talking about?" Prussia asked as Canada slung Lily into the closet and locked the door. Sure it was harsh but she was going to kill him temporarily. It hurts like a bitch, too. You have the worst back and head ache imaginable. Mattie grabbed the bags and got in the car again. He still didn't answer his question. "Matthew please just answer ze question." He turned around and gave Prussia a bottle of what looked like grape juice. He was parched and slurped it down in about 45 seconds. His head started twirling he felt so good yet so dizzy like he just had sex while on a ton of crack. He fell asleep while being dragged into the car. "Maple, this guy does not shut the fuck up." Everything went black and he didn't wake up for what felt like ages. They were in a crappy motel and Prussia had lots of gravel in his hair and pants.

He spotted Canada in his bed. He looked so peaceful but he didn't want to wake him up. He snuck up and cuddled up next to him. He ran his hands across the younger boy's chest. It was smooth and soft. He could hear Canada's soft snores. He was either asleep or pretending really well. He flicked his nipples and he heard a slight moan. So he could feel it. He slid his hands farther down until he reached the other boys navel. He traced, teased and then shot his hands in his pants. He played with his member and pumped. He really wanted to see the boys face. He had seen it so many times before when they were have very passionate, and LOUD sex. This time is was different though. he wanted to try something knew. He put his other hand down his pant's and jerked himself so fast it could be classified as a official Olympic sport. He was finally slick enough to slip enough to go inside Canada without him waking up. He pulled down the younger boy's pants down and slipped in him. He heard small grunts and moans. He looked for that spot that made His little maple bird go crazy. "Gilbert!" Looks like he found it. He only says his name when he's having a really good time. He pounded into that same spot until Canada jumped up and cried his name. He went faster and harder until he finished. Canada was speech less. He never felt this way before it was another side to his Prussian lover. "Gilbert, guess what." He looked at him and shrugged panting. "I was never sleeping. You ha need to ha ask ha first." He said panting between words.

It was morning and Hungary and her sidekicks were nowhere in sight. Canada couldn't get last night out of his head. He tried to remember what he put in that bottle that made him so… awesome. It was grape soda, honey, a sedative, and the aphrodisiac he got from his father. Yeah that sounds legit. He sat up and kissed his boyfriend. Prussia didn't know but he had a terrible secret. He may be the nicest boyfriend here but with Hungary he was something way more important. He was her second in command, her favorite, and the one that owns the room when he walks in. Yes kids now you know that Canada is on the Hungarian side of this war. Have you ever heard of a Canadian spy? No? Exactly.

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**Ok so yes this is another story. Yeah it has a very suckish ending. Forgive me for my horrible spelling and grammar mistakes. Anywho if I get any type of feedback I will do another chapter. Even if I don't I still might. So please favorite, follow, and/or review me and/or this story. Love yall byyeeeeee P.S I finally found out how to make those line breaks. If you want to know then just PM me**


	2. Betrayal

**Yeah it's another chapter of Pie vs Yaoi. Anyway sorry for not updating and such but there was a lot to do in so little time. Anyway there will be no yaoi. I know what you guys are thinking. "What no yaoi? What the hell am I doing here then?" Now before you touch that button. There will be smut though. Ok maybe some yaoi. I don't know but I'm thinking about it. By the way CapriSun is the best shit in the world. I'm too lazy so sometimes Prussia might speak with a German Accent but around the end he might speak english. Anyway enjoy this.**

Prussia was on the ground and it was hot. Like so hot it wasn't even funny. "Where am I?" He heard footsteps at went into panic mode. He struggled and scratched until he saw the face of the person that was coming towards him. "Finally, I thought you would never wake up." It was Canada. He did this to him? "Don't look at me like that. You should have seen the signs." Prussia just stared at him with stupid face. "Forget it." He sipped the CapriSun in his hand and pumped the gas. When he was done he sucked the freaking life out of the CapriSun. He picked up Prussia and flung him in the car. He started to struggle again, but Canada just ignored him, and pulled off his shirt. It revealed a red tank top that said "Second To None". He pulled off his sweat pants and revealed a pair of white skinny jeans. His ocean blue eyes turned violet and he hopped into the front seat.

"Birdie can you at least tell me ver were going?" Canada huffed. "Were going to Hungary," he said trying to keep his eyes on the road. Prussia's eyes went as wide as CD and he started struggling again. "If you stop acting bad then you might get the slightest bit of mercy." Prussia then saw nothing but red. He was not going to let a yaoi fangirl take him into her house to make him do things, with people he probably didn't know or like. He broke the rope and hopped into the front. Canada stopped the car and immediately reacted. He kissed him. His eyes changed to blue again. "Don't fight me babe. You know I love you." Prussia's heat went down and he stopped fighting. He relaxed and let his guard down. Canada's eyes went back to purple and his hands shot to Prussia's pants. His zipper was down in about 3.5 seconds. His hands pumped faster and faster until Prussia couldn't take it anymore. Then he stopped. He turned his head to face his quiet lover and smirked.

It was suddenly dark. What had his little birdie done to him now? He was dreaming of course. Suddenly it was bright and he saw Hungary and Canada. What were they doing? They were kissing. The she demon was touching his birdie. Even if he was part of her team, she still knew that he was his. And he looked as if he was enjoying this. Why would she do this to him and why would he not stop them. HE tried to stand up but he couldn't move. It was like his whole body was chained to the floor and he was forced to watch. "Stop. Just stop it!" He shouted. His voiced cracked and hot tears were running down his cheeks. His pale face was gaining the slightest bit of color. Canada's head turned and he was smiling. "Why should I stop? You never loved me. You were always in love with yourself." Head turned back around and the kisses were more passionate and there was a lot more use of the hands.

Why was this happening to him? He wasn't that in love with himself. He did say that he was awesome sometimes but that didn't mean that he didn't his precious little birdie more than his own life. He was the most important in his life and he wasn't going to let some pushy Hungarian tell him otherwise. "Look the little Albino is getting angry. Should we let him go?" The she demon spoke with a dark tone. She was taunting him and he could feel it. It was getting really hot and they were getting deeper into it. Her hands trailed down to Canada's pants painfully slow. The moans were getting louder and Canada was panting. Prussia was the only that had the ability to make him pant. Canada said that everyone else was too slow and couldn't keep up with him.

Canada seemed to be having the best time of his life. Why was she torturing him like this? Why couldn't she just kidnap Gilbird or something like that? He loved Gilbird but not as much as he loved his little not so innocent Canadian. He had other problems though. He was getting hard. This couldn't happen to him. His little birdie wouldn't do this to him. He was dreaming of course. But it felt so very real. He wasn't blinking at all. He was definitely dreaming. He blinked a couple of times and his body was jerked forward. The car had stopped and the light was killing him. It was sunny and the leaves were rustling loudly. The warehouse beside it made it look like a really peaceful abandoned place. Then Prussia thought to himself: _oh the irony._ The outside looked so perfect but there was probably the most sick and twisted things going on inside there.

"Ahhh home sweet home," Canada said. He was still rocking the "Second to None" t-shirt but instead of white and red checkered sneakers he was wearing red, white, and green sneakers. He was so respectful to his queen. Canada grabbed Prussia by the collar and slung him over his shoulder. The sunlight was making him a bit nauseous and his stomach was empty. The doors of the warehouse opened by themselves and there were different humans and countries waiting for us by the door. "Canada-sama is back!" They heard something shout. A crowd of people came by them and started to gawk. "He got him. Hungary- sama is going to be so proud."

"Hey Birdie what do they mean by Canada-_sama_?"

"I'm the second in command here. If Hungary ever went down I would take her place and become the King of this castle."

"You mean this weird warehouse type deals."

"You should probably stay away from me."

"Why?"

"The reason being is because I don't want to catch your stupidity you, narcissist."

"Birdie, that wasn't very nice."

"Stop calling me that. If you haven't noticed I stopped loving you a long time ago."

That stung Prussia like a wasp. "So you don't love me at all?" Canada shook his head and moved towards a pair of wooden double doors that read "Please Knock. The Queens Room." He was actually being betrayed by his boyfriend. Well his former boyfriend now. Without even thinking to knock he swung open the door with brute strength and there was the she demon sitting in her throne. her eyes lit up once she saw Canada and then it turned into an evil smirked when she saw Prussia. "I'm so happy you got him for me." Canada slung Prussia onto the floor and his face rubbed against the irritating wool carpet.

"Now Prussia," she said getting up from her chair "Have you learned your lesson yet?" Prussia sat up sat on the ground and spat. "I guess you haven't." She was slowly coming down the steps from the chair to the floor. Her hair was in a bun with her flower in its usual place. She was wearing a yellow V-neck and a pair of beige jeans that looked like they were from American Eagle. Since when did he know anything about American clothing? After every word there was a step. Who did she think she was Alicia Keys? When did all this American information infiltrate his awesome skull and enter his brain.

"What do you want, demon."

"That wasn't very nice. You could have said something like; Oh, Hi Hungary. I like your new ballet flats that you just got from America. I bet they cost a lot of money."

"I don't care about your shoes. I already know that you got them from DSW on the clearance rack."

"You are so not nice. I did not get this from the clearance rack. I got it from the back of the store."

"From what mall did you get those shoes?"

"I went to the Palisades and got these."

"The back of the store is the clearance rack. Couldn't you at least get some cute Doc Martins. They look way better then those cheap old pieces of crap you call ballet flats."

Hungary looked taken aback her flower fell out of her hair as she stomped over to Prussia with her reliable frying pan. She hit him over and over until she felt satisfied. He didn't have the right to criticize her shoes. He was in deep dog shit now. His face was beat and his nose was defiantly broken but being an ex country still had its benefits. He was healing already and he was getting feeling in the left side of his face again.

"Now that that's over with lets get back on subject. You have lost the war and now you must become my little yaoi slave. Don't worry yourself to much. It will only be for a couple of years" Now Prussia was really angry. He felt as though Hungary was going to to something right now that was going to set him off. She leaned in really close and pecked him on the cheek. He was disgusted. "Mien Gott, why would you do that? I hate girl kisses." He complained and complained until Hungary had literally died of laughter. Like she seriously died of laughter. **To explain how serious I am I will have Poland say this next sentence. **Omg, Hungary like totally laughed her ass off so hard she like totally died. **Thank you for your cooperation. **She woke up in the same spot she died in with a very concerned Canada hovered over her. 'Hun its ok. I died plenty of times before. It doesn't hurt as much as it did before." She stood up dusted off her clothes and walked back up to her chair. "You actually managed to kill be without there being any sort of fight. Unfortunately There must be a punishment for this." She whistled and Japan came out from behind her chair. "Japan I would like for you to go get Austria for me. We just might have a little show going on today." Prussia's eyes widened and Canada slung him over his shoulder again. "Canada put me down." He remained silent as Prussia spoke to him. "Matthew put me down." Canada stopped and stood him up. He gave him one hard slap and threw him over his shoulder again. "Don't you ever say my name again. I told you that were done."

Prussia wasn't feeling awesome at all. In fact he was feeling like a piece of dried out dog shit on the side of the road. He was dumped onto an empty stage in an empty weird looking auditorium type thing. Once Canada left there was no one to talk to or make fun of. He was alone and he would probably be forced to have butt smex with that annoying noble in a couple of minutes. After a good crying session he saw one of the side doors open. He watched as about six figures walked in and crept onto the stage. It was Germany, Switzerland, England, America, Romano, and France. "West, are you here to help me?" his brother rolled his eyes and called him a dummkoft while cutting Prussia's bonds with his favorite pocket knife. Just as he was about to cut the last rope the stage light came and almost a thousand were in the room watching. "I'm so glad you joined us. The party was just about to get started."

**Yes did you it? Well I spent a lot of time on it. I'm going out to Connecticut with my crush and the rest of the class for this camping trip thing. Anyway Review and favorite pleeeeeeaasee. Love Yall. Byeeeeeeee**


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